YES, THIS DAY DESERVES ALL CAPS.

I don’t like male strippers. Or any strippers for that matter. They smell. They shine. They have far too little body hair. They make me feel slightly uncomfortable. But from the very first preview I saw months ago, I knew that I HAD to see Magic Mike.

Channing Tatum. Joe Manganiello. Matthew Mac…wait, do their names ever matter?!

No. Because the names are not what I will be concerned with when I see this movie tonight.

You know why?

Because THIS is my concern.

And this.

And this.

Truthfully, it’s my fellow movie-goers that should be concerned. Concerned that I might drool on them.

Because I’m not sure how I’m going to survive this…

…without a little bit of drooling.

I haven’t been this excited about a movie since the last Zac Efron flick, which I also celebrated with pre-movie margaritas. There will be more of that tonight.

Tonight is gonna be an epic girls’ night. Even if I’m the only one that shows, because let’s be honest, it’s not the girls that are going to make tonight epic…