Apologies in advance for all. of. the. words.
Telling people you’re expecting is pretty freaking cool. I have nothing to compare it to, but telling people we’re expecting TWINS is probably going to go down in history as the coolest news I’ll ever get to share with anyone. For that reason, we haven’t even made any sort of “official” Facebook or Instagram announcement. It’s way more fun telling people in person. So why am I talking about it here, you ask? Well, the majority of people I know “in real life” that read my blog, also already know we’re expecting. And the rest of the people that read my blog, aren’t people I’ll see or run into, maybe ever, so I see the blog as a place I can share my experiences and perhaps even offer some advice to someone else who finds themselves in a similar situation. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve turned to Amber or Chelsey’s blogs when I want to read about a particular week/symptom/experience with twin pregnancies so by documenting my experience here, it provides just one more resource for a future M. O. M. (mom of multiples). 🙂
Of course with telling people comes along questions. Lots of questions. Some questions I don’t even know the answers to myself! There some questions people actually ask, and others that you can tell they want to ask, but don’t. So here you go, unfiltered answers to any questions you may have about how we found ourselves expecting two.
Do you have any twins in the family? The short answer here is yes. Justin’s first cousin has a set of fraternal twins. However, the twin gene comes from the mother’s side so those twins don’t count. I haven’t a single set of twins in my family. We did discover that my dad’s great great grandmother was a twin but that’s so far removed that it doesn’t seem likely that that really “counts” either.
and when you tell people you have no family history of twins, they automatically assume…
You must have had some sort of fertility treatment, right? Actually, no. We were lucky enough to conceive these two naturally and incredibly unexpectedly. No Clomid, no IVF, not even more than a few over-the-counter prenatal vitamins here and there. Just the good old fashioned way, I guess. But if your journey to multiples was different than ours, please stick around. No matter how you conceived multiples, it’s likely we’ll have a thing or two in common over the coming months and years.
Are they identical? It’s very likely that we have ourselves a pair of fraternal twins. They are in separate sacs, which means there is a very narrow window of opportunity where they could have started as one egg and split, but it’s highly unlikely.
Do you know the sex? While it’s still a bit early to find this out if we wanted, we’ve opted to stay in the dark about the sex of our babies. There are so few great surprises in life, and the way I see it is that other than paint colors and buying gender specific clothing, there is nothing you can do to prepare differently for boys vs. girls. Babies are babies. They have the same needs and wants. And we’ll be keeping them both, whether they are boys or girls or one of each, so honestly, it makes no difference.
When and how did you find out it was twins? I get this question a lot, but mostly from my fellow pregnant friends. As if they’re concerned that they could also be expecting twins and just not know it yet. We saw two strong heartbeats at 7 weeks on a Vscan. The scan was one week earlier than planned, as I had some questionable spotting on my birthday and they were able to get me in the very next day. I was feeling like absolute crap on my birthday, even missed the first half of the work day because I was so sick, then had spotting later in the night. Needless to say, it wasn’t my best birthday. The next day totally made up for it though!
Were you trying for long? This is such a funny question to ask a pregnant woman. Anyone that has been trying will tell you that even a month seems like a long time to try. Like, you spend your whole “adult” life trying to avoid getting pregnant and then when it doesn’t happen the very moment you start trying, you immediately think something is wrong with you/you’re never going to get pregnant/why is this so easy for people who aren’t trying?!? We started trying about a year ago. We got pregnant within a few months and I miscarried within two weeks of finding out we were expecting. I was about 6 weeks pregnant at the time, and while sad, I knew this was fairly common with first-time pregnancies and tried not to let it get the best of me. Shortly after, I started a new job and we decided to hold off for a couple of months in order to get me acclimated with my new job, wait for insurance to kick in, etc. I was completely honest with my new boss, even before she hired me, and told her that we planned to start a family as soon as possible and that I would no longer allow work to get in the way of my family goals. She hired me nonetheless so I didn’t see my new job as a reason to not try but I have to say that’s almost exactly what we were (unintentionally) doing when we got pregnant. I mean, we certainly weren’t doing anything to prevent pregnancy, but I had stopped paying attention to my ovulation and that sort of thing. I think it’s true what they say, the less pressure you put on yourself, the more relaxed you are, the more likely it is to happen.
How will you balance a full-time job and being a mother to twins? Honestly, I have no freaking clue. I am in for the experience of a lifetime, that’s for sure. As previously mentioned, my boss is pretty great when it come to this sort of thing. She is a mother of four and is willing to allow me a part-time schedule for a while if necessary. We’re incredibly lucky that my mom has offered to watch the babies twice a week, and I plan to go back to work at full-time, but only four days a week, which means we only need alternate day care two times a week. The last place I looked into charged $895 per month, per child. For TWO DAYS A WEEK. Friends, that’s $111.87 per day. Per child. Needless to say, we’re now seriously considering having someone care for the babies in our home.
How are you feeling? I feel okay, for the most part. Even pretty great some days. Again, I have nothing to compare it to but everyone tells me pregnancy sickness and symptoms are so much more severe with multiples. If that’s the case I’ll consider myself lucky because I’ve definitely had some pretty terrible days but nothing so bad that I can’t handle it. I plan to get a little further into the details of sickness and symptoms in upcoming posts.
How far along are you and when is your due date? I’m just shy of 18 weeks and while my official due date is July 21st, twins have a tendency to make their appearance much sooner than the 40 week mark so our doctor has told us to be ready as early as mid-June.
Are you concerned about being high risk and/or complications? Of course I am. Now that I’m one step closer to becoming a mom, it’s officially my job to worry about anything and everything. At this point my pregnancy is not considered high risk, it is considered “at risk”, which is the classification for every multiples pregnancy at the start. Of course my chances of becoming high risk are very, well, high. But based on my health prior to getting pregnant, my family history, and other various factors, my doctor says that he sees no reason for this to be anything other than a perfectly healthy pregnancy and as “normal” as a twin pregnancy can be. The type of twins I’m carrying – di di (dichorionic diamniotic) – tend to cause the fewest pregnancy complications out of any other twin “classification”. At my appointment last week, my doctor explained that my 16 week uterus was measuring along the lines of a singleton pregnancy at 20 weeks. This is perfectly healthy and normal with twins, but brings me to the other concern with twins. Women carrying multiples just get SO large. I’m concerned about not being able to do simple things like tie my shoes or bend down to hook Fielder up to his leash to go outside. Bed rest is something I don’t even want to think about and lucky for me, our doctor isn’t exactly pro bed rest, he uses it as a “prescription” as minimally as possible. I might, however, request a doctors note that says someone has to carry me up the three flights of stairs to my office in a couple of months. No elevator. Not cool.
Oh goodness. If you’re still reading, kudos to you. This is a loooong post. More to come another day!