…I’ve seen a lot of what the world can do, and it’s breaking my heart in two.
I’m finding it difficult not to carry the weight of the world lately. I almost can’t bear to turn on the tv or browse social media, for fear of what I’ll see.
Another senseless murder, another act of terrorism, another life taken too soon*, another racially charged tragedy.
And the worst part about it? None of this is shocking anymore. When I heard about the attack in Nice yesterday, I didn’t gasp like I did when these sorts of incidents first started happening more frequently.
When was that even?
When did this sort of thing become so regular?
Did you know there have been nearly 12,00 people killed by Islamic terrorism this year alone? This list may not be completely accurate or up-to-date, but it’s devastating nonetheless.
As mothers we do everything in our power to protect our children. We desperately need a break from them at times, yet when we leave them we do nothing but worry. And now, we even worry when we’re with them. When we think they can’t possibly be harmed in our care. But we just never know.
I’m trying my best to stay above it all. Soak up every single moment of happiness that is in my life. Kiss the little cheeks (and lips, because THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS) of my babes as much as they’ll let me. Embrace middle of the night wakings with open arms because far too many mothers no longer get to snuggle their babies.
And I don’t know how I’ll begin to explain all of this to my children when they’re old enough to understand. I don’t know how I’ll begin to tell them the ways in which the world can be so cruel. How there can be so much hate when all anybody wants is to be loved, how people can be so evil when we were all born with the same innocence.
Someday I’ll teach them to be smart and aware. And I’ll hold out hope that by the time they’re old enough to understand, I won’t have to tell them there’s a lot of bad and beware.
I wish you all sunshine through the clouds, positivity when the negative drags you down. I hope that you can see through the evil, embrace the little things, I hope you can get by just upon a smile.
*The story of Beau Solomon has been weighing particularly heavy on my heart, as he was a resident of my hometown, attended my high school, and shared his love of life with many people I know. My 19 year-old Godson was his teammate, his classmate, his friend, and on Wednesday he was a pall bearer at his funeral.