// I witnessed my first ever Target robbery today. More accurately I witnessed the management team sprint out of their office & out to the front of the building, calling the authorities, but it would seem the thief was in my presence at some point. Said robbery got me thinking that there should be a Cartwheel badge for witnessing such an event. Okay, but then that thought made me realize that Cartwheel badges aren’t EVEN A THING anymore!!! I had unlocked all but two of them (I think like $500 & $1000 saved?) and then they just went and unlocked all 50 cart spots for me. Cartwheel badges were like the Pokemon Go for moms and other Target frequenters, ya know? Why they gotta take away my Target games?! P.S. If you’re not using Cartwheel, USE IT.
// The boys had their two-year well exam today. Gosh we love their doctor so much. He has 15 year-old twin boys so maybe he is extra nice to ours, but after striking out with two pediatricians who were pretty much awful, I’m so glad we switched over to family medicine! At said exam, they had two shots and are fully up-to-date on vaccinations. We took things slowly because I simply did not feel comfortable with them getting SO MANY vaccinations at once. I didn’t follow Dr. Sears or anything, I just went with my gut. And here we are, two years later, with fully vaccinated kiddos.
I guess I mention this because vaccines are such a hot topic and there are so many opinions about delayed vaccine schedules. I’ve never been anti-vaccine but I do believe where there is smoke there is fire, and that some children are prone to vaccine injury. So I educated myself and (mostly) trusted my gut to decide which vaccines to get and when. And all you mommas can do the same. That’s all.
Related: I’m Not a Crunchy Mom Anymore. I had so many expectations about the mother I thought I’d be before I had the boys, and even before I was pregnant. I’m not the 99% crunchy mom I thought I would be. Heck, some days I’m like 1% crunchy mom but you know what? I’m still a good mom*!
//While we’re talking medical shop. I had a fairly awful experience of my own a few weeks ago and it still bothers me. I went in for my yearly lady appointment. I hadn’t been seen by a doctor since my six-week post-partum exam, nearly two years ago. I did not require a pap because those are now only performed every 3 years for most women. I expected a breast exam because I have lumpy breast tissue that has already required a mammogram, a history of breast cancer on my mom’s side of the family, and well, I’m a woman in a clinic getting an annual exam, which is considered PREVENTIVE CARE. Nope, no breast exam. I spent the entire appointment fully clothed. I had concerns about some moles, and asked for a once over of my skin OR a dermatology referral. She asked if I had any moles with which I was particularly concerned, looked at those that were visible with my clothes on, and handed me a pamphlet about what to watch for. Thanks, lady. I already have this graphic saved in my camera roll. I received a lecture about proper use of birth control, and, ISHITYOUNOT, was firmly told that improper use of birth control can lead to an unexpected pregnancy. Again, thank you Captain Obvious. I’m 33 and have two children. I think I know how this works. She attempted to end the
appointment meeting (it seemed much more like a meeting) twice when I reminded her that I had a couple of other things I wanted to discuss. Guys, it sucked. I completed the feedback questionnaire and I was honest. I did not sugar coat anything.
// *Wednesday I locked myself in the bathroom with jelly beans for like five minutes because I needed a time-out. The boys think it’s hilarious to hit me. I have tried every method of getting them to stop: distraction, ignoring it, firmly telling them to stop, time-outs, and screaming at the top of my lungs, to which they have responded with: being successfully distracted for like a nanosecond, continuing to hit until I stop ignoring it, laughing at me, escaping the corner to hit me more, and laughing at the top of their lungs while continuing to hit me. So I just hung out. In the bathroom. By myself. I knew they were safe because they were banging on the door the whole time, as I knew they would. When I emerged from the bathroom they hit me some more but eventually the novelty wore off. This was one of those times that #boymom popped into my head, but I reminded myself this isn’t a boy thing. All kids can be jerks sometimes. All kids can get dirty. All kids can like gross things and talk about poop. And all moms who give themselves timeouts are still good moms.
// I have had ZERO desire to start potty training. Like, I’ve joked that I’ll worry about it when they go to kindergarten because I just don’t. want. to. do. it. But then the other day, shortly after my timeout, the boys were talking about pooping and I said, “want to go poop on the potty?” and they said “yes!” and so we gave it a shot and wouldn’t you know, Nolan WENT PEE ON THE POTTY! Theo mostly likes to just look at his penis & smile proudly, but hey, we’re making progress here.
I’m letting them drive this boat to toilet town though. I don’t want to force it, but I’m being an opportunist. If they’re talking about peeing or pooping, I’m offering. Over the last couple of days Nolan has peed on the toilet three times, and Theo once. Maybe I won’t be changing diapers for three more years, after all!
// I’m feeling particularly rambly and unfiltered today. Perhaps you noticed? I know what you’re thinking, Instagram followers, but rest assured, I drafted this post long before I started drinking the Two Beers Brewing Co. Summer Ale. But it’s fitting because their motto is “Life is just a little more honest after two beers.”
That said, I only had one because my honesty and exhuastedness (a word I made up) kick in after just a few sips.
Happy long weekend, friends!